Nanny and Employer: Respect, Appreciation & Open Communication

How does a Nanny or Housekeeper, and a household employer maintain proper respect, show appreciation and keep an open line of communication? The first rule is to never cross the line. This means that you as the employer must find a way to maintain a friendly relationship without becoming "Best friends". It is more in your hands than it is the employee's. You as the employer set the pace by establishing a professional demeanor. This may seem odd to have this kind of relationship with someone working in a home and in many cases with children. But here is the point: if you become so friendly and treat this relationship like anything other than an employee/employer you will find it difficult to give instruction and correct your employee when things need to be changed. On the same note, an employee will have similar concerns about how to discuss issues that may be important as it relates to the job. This is not to say that you cannot be friendly to each other. However, there are certain things to keep in mind: 1) keep your private life to yourself. No one needs to delve into marital, financial, physical or psychological problems. Turn to the appropriate people to discuss these issues. 2) Try not to break down or show anger or use profanity. Maintaining an even-tempered emotional state is very important when working together. If there are issues, talk them out like civilized people. If there are things that have affected one's feelings, control the tears and express logically the emotion. 3) Use constructive criticism when telling something to someone. To randomly criticize someone or something doesn't usually get a positive response. However, to explain it in a way where one can see the problem, may actually get you positive results. 4) Be respectful of what was agreed to when you began the working relationship as it pertains to: schedule, salary, duties, expectations, benefits, overtime, responsibilities, reviews. 5) always check in with each other to be sure things are going well on the job so that both achieve a comfort level in discussing issues instead of holding things inside, and 6) use review sessions, employee/employer agreements and a household manual.

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